THE GIFT OF FRIENDSHIP

So the last couple of weeks have been an emotional roller coaster for me. I have had to face the consequences of a series of careless decisions that I made over a period of time. I had to battle feelings of shame, regret, unworthiness and honestly for a few seconds, I prayed for God to just take me to heaven because I was just too tired of living. Looking back, that was a bit on the dramatic side but at that time I felt too much despair to even care. 

The past couple of weeks have also taught me how valuable friendships are and how God uses people to lift you up. I found myself leaning heavily on other people to reaffirm who I am in Christ and to help me look up and see that God loves me unconditionally. 

I often hear people say (and I am sure I have said this in the past) that they do not need friends. While I would not encourage anyone to remain in any relationship that is toxic but I would definitely encourage people to seek Godly friendships. The Bible is filled with accounts of people that formed rock-solid friendships and teaches a lot on not only what to look out for in a friend but how to be a good friend to others.  This tells us that friendship is a gift that is valued highly by God and one that we should treasure too. 

Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken. (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, NLT)

The verses above basically summarize friendship. It is amazing when it is done right. The question now becomes, how do we get into friendships that build us up and glorify God?

Like everything else in life, I’d recommend giving all our cares to the Lord and laying our requirements for friends at the feet of the Father. God has a knack for bringing people in our lives that we need and this is made easier when we look to Him to direct our paths. In addition to this, I would highly recommend not expecting perfection. The verses above clearly states that when one person falls, the other reaches out to help. Perfect people never fall. The Bible gives leeway for our humanity and we should extend that grace too in our friendships. 

In addition to these, true friendship requires vulnerability. You cannot be a rock for others and not expect to be held up sometimes. You cannot always be an encourager and never give room for others to encourage you. You cannot be a listening ear to others and never offer people the chance of listening to everything that life has brought your way; both good and bad. 

Finally, the goal of our friendships should be giving glory to the Father. Every friendship should have God as its head and constant reference point. This would ensure that we do not take our eyes off God and fix it on another human as the source of our joy!