When We Do Not Get What We Pray For

We all have needs. We all have that thing that has the potential to keep us up at night…if we let it. As Christians, we have been taught that the response to this is to take it to the Lord in prayer. It is our culture. For many years, James 5: 17 & 18 have been some of my favourite verses in the Bible: Elijah was a man with a nature like ours (with the same physical, mental and spiritual limitations and shortcomings), and he prayed intensely for it not to rain and it did not rain on the earth for six months. Then he prayed again, and the sky gave rain and the land produced its crops (as usual). I love these verses; the emphasis on Elijah’s humanity and the fact that with prayer, he was able to accomplish such wondrous things. What happens however when we, just like Elijah, pray intensely for something that we are sure we need and God does not grant us our prayer request? What should  our stance be as Christians?

It can be very discouraging when we have asked over and over again for something to be done about something in our lives and God just does not seem to share the same view or He seems to want to take His time to come through for us. I for one have prayed for certain things and when it seems my prayers have gone unanswered, I would wonder if He thinks there is something especially wrong with me since He had no problems giving to others what I desired. Fast forward to when I have a better understanding of what I'm praying for and I literally just look at God and say, “Wow God, You are THE MAN”. This does not mean that my desire is now non-existent, however, it means that through the years I have come to appreciate that, unlike me, God does not have a limited view on things. He sees everything and knows when to set things in motion for our own good and He knows that anything that happens outside of His perfect will is a recipe for disaster. The bottom line is that praying consistently, while it may sometimes not yield the results we hope for, would often lead to us having a “God-perspective” on the matter and align our requests to His will. His will is always perfection.

God is not a genie-in-a-bottle. He is not blue and Aladdin is certainly not a depiction of the life of a typical Christian. He is not bound to answer our prayers no matter how ridiculous they are. Although we are His children and can rightfully ask for anything in Jesus’ name, He requires us to be patient, humble and able to listen. As I mentioned earlier, consistent prayer and spending time with God will align our will to His will but this does not often happen in the twinkle of an eye. God never sleeps and he never slumbers! He knows exactly where we are in life and all we have prayed for. Nothing just happens. God knows it all. In Philippians 4, Paul tell us this, “I know how to get along and live humbly, and I also know how to enjoy abundance and live in prosperity. In any circumstance I have learned the secret, whether well-fed or going hungry, whether having an abundance or being in need.  I can do all things [which He has called me to do] through Him who strengthens and empowers me (to fulfill His purpose—I am self-sufficient in Christ’s sufficiency…)”.  Paul specifies that the “secret” was learned. Learning to be content in all situations comes by trusting God and trusting in His refining process. That process of refinement will not come if all our wishes are granted. God uses the wait to refine us and the result is that we become more Christ-like and we know that our sufficiency is in Him.

I believe one of the most profound effect an unanswered prayer has on me is knowing that God still sees me. Sometimes when I pray the same thing over again and I feel it’s time to move on if an answer is not forthcoming, the Holy Spirit would still steer me towards praying about that particular thing. I have learnt that it is utterly useless masking my feelings from God, so in times like this when all I feel is frustration, I just do not want to pray. I literally feel like I want to be left alone but it is amazing that God, in these moments, does not feel the same way; He won't leave me alone! It brings to mind 2 Timothy 2:13, “if we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself”.  

The Psalms written by Asaph (Psalms 74 and 77 especially) literally tell us the state of mind Asaph was in. He was sad, felt abandoned by God and very frustrated. We have all been there. Asaph says in Psalm 77, “…at night, I tirelessly lift my hands in prayer…when I think of You, I feel restless and weak. Because of you, Lord God, I can’t sleep…. Have you rejected me forever?”. The beautiful thing is that God actually gave us these Psalms. 2 Timothy 3:16 tells us that all scripture is given by inspiration of God. God knows that we would certainly go through times where we feel He has abandoned us and rejected our prayers. These chapters give us hope that He knows and He sees us where we are. 

Prayer is not a magic wand that we wave and all our wants are fulfilled. Do not get me wrong, prayer produces results that are very apparent to everyone and it always makes for good stories when something ground breaking happens right after we have prayed. However, it is also good to remember that prayer helps us build a relationship with God. In times when what we pray for is not immediately or ever granted, we are reminded that God is indeed the focal point and not what we think we need or our feelings in the process. God wants to reveal Himself to us and a revelation of Himself gives us a better understanding of who we are.